Self-Doubt

I don't know if it's just me or if it's in the air and you're feelin' it too, but if you are an artist, at one time or another, you've probably felt the looming, black hole swirling around and around your stomach like I am today. That uncertainty and worry that your art isn't good enough.  I know this is a rather negative topic to write my very first blog post about, but it is what I've been going through the last couple days, and it has latched itself onto me and won't let go.  It seems to come in phases.  Some days I feel like an amazing rock star that can do anything I set my mind to. Other days, I start to forget why I am an artist in the first place and want to completely give up. Even though I know that this is a perfectly normal emotional revolving door to go through as a 'creativepreneur', I still can't stand when it makes it's rounds.

I try my hardest to stay positive, push through, and create everyday. And if I'm not creating, I'm taking photographs of my art, editing those images or learning code for my website, writing new posts for my social media accounts, taking workshops online to learn how others in my field do what they do and everything else in between. This is all around my (super supportive) husband's and two small children's schedule.  There is a lot of hard work that goes unseen, and sometimes it just feels like it's for nothing, even though in my heart I know it's not. 

This is a major cause of anxiety for me. Sometimes I ask myself is this even worth it. Although it is a lot of pressure, I just can't imagine doing anything else.  I love to make art, my kids love to create as well and watch me make art…. And that's my biggest motivator all on it's own. I am willing to do pretty much whatever it takes to become a successful artist, not only because it's something I've always wanted to achieve, but because I want my children to have a good example to follow. I guess I just need to batten down the hatches and ride out the storm of self-doubt.

Work in progress,  10 x 10 acrylic on canvas

Work in progress,  10 x 10 acrylic on canvas